Yeah, You Heard Right

Trey's Political Endorsements

2008-05-01T20:27:00.004-04:00

The Iowa Caucuses in early January marked the beginning of the presidential primary season, which makes news/political junkies like myself happier than Erykah Badu with a new afro pick (and you know it's the one with the black fist). Since I live in a state that rarely gets any attention since most primaries seasons have been resolved long before NC's primary rolls around, I thought it would be cool to live vicariously through another state. Most North Carolinians followed the SC primary, while I was salty that their primary was before NC's. I mean, it's SC, the state that wrathed upon this nation Strom Thurmond and Hootie and the Blowfish. Instead, I chose to follow the DMV primaries, since I do have family in those states. Fast foward a few months, a few candidates, and a few media-generated stories, and May 6th, the date of NC's primary, is almost upon us.

In the national scheme of things, members of the Democratic Party are split between the two main (yes, Mike Gravel is still in it) remaining candidates: Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Pardon my French, but both candidates and especially their surrogates have exhibited, for lack of a better word, what Diddy so eloquently calls "bitchassness". Also, the wonderful American media continues to stir the shite create instead of reporting the news and allows John McSame McCain continues unchallenged. All the while, John and Elizabeth Edwards are at their house in Chapel Hill giving the side eye to all parties involved while they plan their move to DC so John can be Attorney General.

In NC, Democrats would like to make sure they keep the governor, lieutenant governor, and majority in the General Assembly. Also, they would like a Democrat to represent the NC in the Senate, while throwing out Elizabeth Dole in the process.

I know my endorsements may not be that sought after, but I'd like to believe they have more importance than Heidi Montag's. Anyway, here are the candidates I endorse according to the NC Board of Elections' sample ballots.

NC Senate District 16: Josh Stein
Treasurer: Janet Cowell
Superintendent of Public Instruction: June Atkinson
Commissioner of Labor: Robin Anderson
Commissioner of Insurance: Wayne Goodwin
Auditor: Fred Aikens

Lieutenant Governor: Hampton Dellinger
Hampton Dellinger seems to understand the issues NC must tackle such as promoting sustainable energy, the achievement gap, teachers' salaries, and keeping right-wing politics out of science. He supports a collaboration between public, private, and nonprofit entities for better mental health care, and he opposes the Navy's proposed outlying landing field in the northeastern part of the state.

Governor: Bev Perdue
This was a hard decision to make, because both Perdue and Richard Moore have the same view on a lot of issues. What separates them is their approach. Moore plans on fulfilling his promises by working with businesses; Perdue seems to have a better understanding of how so many issues are related to each other.

US House District 13: Brad Miller
Ummm.... Honestly, I don't have any big reason for endorsing him other than he's been doing a great job representing this district. Why not let him have another term?

US Senate: Jim Neal
I know y'all haven't seen him all over commercials like you have with other candidates, but trust me. Jim Neal is full of so much win. When NC Democrats were coming up empty-handed in their search for a candidate to run against Elizabeth Dole, it was Neal who stepped up. Then, when he announced he is gay, Chuck Schumer and the and the DSCC told him to sit down and know his place. While they have chosen to support Kay Hagan, his campaign has gotten a lot of grassroots support, and attention from various influencial websites in the liberal blogosphere. So far, I have yet to hear him say anything that I disagree with.

President: Barack Obama
I remember in late July, 2004, I sat watching the Democratic National Convention on TV absolutely mesmerized by his speech. Once it was over, I practically fell in love with him. I went around bookstores searching for Dreams of My Father. I actually paid attention to the senate race in IL that year. I, too, believed that maybe the political discourse in Congress can be elevated. I believed that Barack Obama should be president someday...just not in 2008. He is too new, and I wanted him to serve a full term in the Senate so he could be able to have a longer list of accomplishments. So, what changed my mind? A speech his campaign calls "A More Perfect Union". It was billed as a speech where he would address statements made by Rev. Jeremiah Wright, but a good chunk of it was spent on racism in this country. He talked about the racist episodes in American history, and how they affect the country to this day. He mentioned how various groups felt and acknowledged that their feelings are not without merit. He talked about so many other things, and during that speech, it hit me: he gets it. He gets how racism and its effects, whether they are overt or subtle, need to be addressed, because it's not Blacks', or Latinos', or Asians', or Native Americans' problem; it's our nation's problem. I truly feel if he is elected, maybe one day, not Nov. 5, not Jan. 21, not 2012, or maybe even 2112, but one day in the future, this country and its people can be truly equal.

Okay, Saturday is the last day for one-stop early voting. After that, the election date is May 6th. I'm not going to tell you whom to vote for, but hopefully you will have considered the candidates I've listed above.

Trey's Top Song of 2007

2008-01-19T01:18:00.000-05:00

This song marked one of the very few times when I believe the public at large got it right. Not only was this song the biggest hit of 2007, it was one of the best of 2007. It reached #1 in 25 countries. It spent six weeks at #1 in the US, the 2nd longest of the year, and 10 weeks in the UK, the longest of the decade so far. Ladies and gentlemen, the #1 pick for Trey's Top Songs of 2007 is...

"Umbrella"- Rihanna featuring Jay-Z
Writers: Jay-Z, Tricky Stewart, The-Dream
Producers: Tricky Stewart, The-Dream

Like it or not, this song was everyone, and it deserved to be. This song broke Rihanna out of dance-pop starlet and into international superstardom. Like I said last year, she has a knack for picking really good songs that work well for her limited range. I've said that a great song doesn't need a singer with a huge range, and "Umbrella" is the perfect example. Mark my words: this will go down as one of the greatest pop songs ever.

#2 "Shadowfeet"- Brooke Fraser

2008-01-19T00:46:00.000-05:00

Writer: Brooke Fraser
Producer: Marshall Altman

Some of these songs, especially the ones in the upper portion of this list, generated a lot of buzz, particularly online. Sometimes, there are songs that go completely under the radar. While songs from artists from the US, the UK, Canada, Sweden, France, etc. get attention, lots of good music get overlooked, such as the most played song in 2007 in a country of only a few million people.

New Zealand singer Brooke Fraser provides this example. Her songs tend to have a spiritual meaning behind them, which doesn't fit well among most of today's hits for obvious reasons. Still, she made a beautifully-sung, exquisitely-crafted, powerful song. Plus, this has got to be one of my favorite videos of '07. Any video that uses a diverse cast gets a thumbs up from me, but this one goes above and beyond expectations.

#3 "Bird Flu"- M.I.A.

2008-01-19T00:07:00.000-05:00

Writer: M.I.A.
Producers: M.I.A. with contributions from Switch

Before I begin, sorry for the long time between posts.

Word is that M.I.A. intended on making her second album Kala with producers such as Timbaland, Lil Jon, and Akon; however, she had problems getting a visa from the US government (possibly due to her ties to the Tamil Tigers). Instead, she traveled around the world and incorporated various sounds from her journey onto her album. From what I've found, she uses Tamil prayer drums on this song, which is just insane. She says she called it "Bird Flu", because in her words, "this beat gon' kill everyone". While the beat didn't kill everyone, it helped generate a lot of buzz for Kala. The lyrics are difficult to decipher, but I did find this blog entry a long while ago that does a much better job of explaining them than I ever could.

#4 "D.A.N.C.E."- Justice

2008-01-10T21:38:00.000-05:00

Writers: Justice
Producers: Justice

French electro-house duo Justice owned 2007 with their album † (pronounced "cross"). This song-- a tribute to Michael Jackson--had the internet going nuts last spring. Also, this was one of the most talked-about videos of the year. There's not much I can say that can do this song justice. Just watch/listen.

#5 (tie) "Can't Tell Me Nothing"- Kanye West/"Stronger"- Kanye West

2008-01-10T21:00:00.000-05:00

Writer: Kanye West
Producers: Kanye West, DJ Toomp

Most of the buzz preceding Graduation was due to "Stronger", so when I was on the lookout for that, I came across "Can't Tell Me Nothing". At first, I was disappointed, and it didn't really do anything for me. A few months later, I finally got the song. The beat, which samples a Young Jeezy song and has vocals from Australian electronica group Sneaky Sound System's Connie Mitchell, is okay, but the magic lies in the lyrics. The song is pretty much about new rappers dealing with fame. From frivolous spending to acting cocky, you "can't tell [him] nothing".

Writer: Thomas Bangalter, Edward Birdsong, Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo, Kanye West
Producers: Kanye West with contributions from Timbaland and Mike Dean

While strength of "Can't Tell Me Nothing" lies in its lyrics, the strength of "Stronger" (no pun intended) lies in the beat. While the lyrics are okay, the beat does the heavy lifting. It samples Daft Punk's "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" and adds a ridiculous amount of bass courtesy of Timbaland. The song is catchy, but it's best to let the beat work its magic on you.

#6 "Gotta Work"- Amerie

2008-01-05T01:29:00.000-05:00

Writers: Amerie, Rich Selton, Loren Hill, Kevin Venney, Isaac Hayes, and David Porter
Producers: One Up

I've realized that, in my humble opinion, most of today's R&B listeners wouldn't know good music if it came up, pimp-slapped them, and said "Where's my money at?". Kelis was dropped from her record label, but someone allowed Keyshia Cole and her goat-like vibrato and hoodrat antics to make another album. I've had to suffer through Beyonce's half-a**ed songs since 2006, which some blogs I read have praised. Those same bloggers also panned Amerie's new album Because I Love It (which has been released everywhere but the US because SonyBMG have their heads too far up their a**es), because it's different. She expands her DC go-go sound--that Beyonce took and "made her own"--to incorporate aspects of '60s soul and '80s pop, and creates what several have called the best R&B album, and one of the best overall albums of 2007.

The lyrics of "Gotta Work" may not be the best, but they work well for this song. The positive lyrics allow the beat to do most of the heavy-lifting. The beat, which pretty much turns Sam & Dave's "Hold On, I'm Coming" into a go-go song, is freaking amazing. Seriously, I dare you to close your door, close your blinds, play this song, and resist dancing like a fool. I can see why people would call out the similarities to "1 Thing", but that certainly isn't a bad thing.

FYI: Word is that Amerie is working on new songs with The Neptunes, and plans to release an American version of Because I Love It this year.

#7 "2 Hearts"- Kylie Minogue

2008-01-05T00:43:00.000-05:00

Writers: Kish Mauve
Producers: Kish Mauve

2007 marked the year that Kylie Minogue got back on the grind after treatment for breast cancer. After a tour of Australia and the UK, she finished working on 10th album X. Although there aren't any songs that shed light to her experience with cancer, the album is full of some serious bangers. "2 Hearts" was written by new London-based electro band Kish Mauve, and I have to agree with the reviewers when they say it sounds like a Goldfrapp song. Even I have to admit she looks like Alison Goldfrapp in the video. Still, that's not necessarily a bad thing. It works well for her, and she delivers.

#8 "Valerie"- Mark Ronson featuring Amy Winehouse

2008-01-05T00:09:00.000-05:00

Writer: David McCabe
Producer: Mark Ronson

When I first heard of producer/DJ Mark Ronson, he release an album in 2003 full of a sound that made me feel he was trying too hard to be different. Nothing wrong with being different, but it just didn't sound right. Fast forward 4 years, and he released an album of cover songs with a new sound: a mix of soul, funk, and ska. As I mentioned, this a cover a song originally done by The Zutons. While the original has a rock sound, this version has a '60's soul vibe. Amy Winehouse does have her issues, but you can't deny her talent. Her voice fits this song so well, which is saying something since the song is about someone wanting to get back together with flaky girl named Valerie. If you don't find this song awesome, you definitely need your ears cleaned.

#9 (tie) "Konichiwa B****es"- Robyn/"Young Folks"- Peter Bjorn and John featuring Victoria Bergsman

2008-01-02T22:42:00.000-05:00

Writers: Klas Åhlund, Robyn
Producer: Klas Åhlund

Souljah Boy, Hurricane Chris, Shop Boyz, et. al., please use this song to take notes on how to make a novelty song that's good. Although Swedish singer Robyn isn't much of a rapper (much like y'all), she fills this song with so many quotable lines, it's simultaneously funny and not funny. I personally love "I'm so very hot that when I rob your mansion, you ain't callin' the cops, you call the fire station". Also, notice how she's not taking herself as seriously as y'all; in a way, she's in on the joke, which prevents her from becoming one like y'all. I wouldn't classify this song as hip-hop, but please do the genre a favor and use this song to make a listenable novelty song.

Writers: Peter Bjorn and John
Producer: Bjorn Yttling

Okay, I'm sure you've heard part of this song on a TV show or a commercial. Swedish band Peter Bjorn and John has created one of the most insanely catchy songs in a while. Seriously, I'd do the whistling part so much if I could whistle. Pretty much, the song is about 2 people who are starting a relationship; it highlights their excitement for the future and hesitation due to the past, then goes on to say all that matters is just those 2. It's refreshing to know that an insanely catchy song can still be a well-crafted pop song.

#10 "International Players Anthem (I Choose You)"- UGK featuring Outkast

2007-12-29T23:21:00.000-05:00

Writers: Bun B and Pimp C (UGK), Andre 3000 and Big Boi (Outkast)
Producers: DJ Paul and Juicy J (Three 6 Mafia)

Today's mainstream hip-hop, put politely, gets on my nerves. Too many bad rappers making ig'nant ringtone songs, especially Southern rappers. This song proved to be the anomaly among Southern hip-hop. Houston's UGK and Atlanta's Outkast brought their A+ game on this song, which is saying something because I'm don't really like UGK. Also, soul-sampling beats are a way to my heart, and I think someone must have told Three 6 Mafia that to get me to like them. I flove this beat, but I still dislike them oh, so passionately.

FYI: Pimp C was found dead on Dec. 4, 2007 in an LA hotel room. As of yet, no cause of death has been given.

Trey's Top 10 Songs of 2007: The Honorable Menitons

2007-12-29T21:53:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year again. The time where I post what I consider the best songs of 2007. I've come across a lot of awesome music this year, but this list does have one rule. The song must have been first released through sales or music video somewhere in the world between Dec. 2006 and Dec. 2007. Before I get started, here are the songs that didn't make the top 10, but I feel should be recognized anyway. If I don't think you've heard it, there's audio. If I think the video is worth watching, there's video.

"1973"- James Blunt

"Bed"- J. Holiday

"Because of You"- Ne-Yo

"Change"- Sugababes

"Everything"- Michael Bublé

"Fluorescent Adolescent"- Arctic Monkeys

"Foundations"- Kate Nash

"Hang Me Up to Dry"- Cold War Kids

"Hot Stuff (Lets Dance)"- Craig David

"Goodbye Mr. A"- The Hoosiers

"I'm with the Band"- Little Big Town

"Lollipop"- Mika

"Long Trip Alone"- Dierks Bentley

"Nothin' Better To Do"- LeAnn Rimes

"Sexy! No No No"- Girls Aloud

"Song 4 Mutya (Out of Control)"- Groove Armada featuring Mutya Buena

"Stay the Night"- Ghosts

"The People"- Common featuring Dwele

"The Way I Are"- Timbaland featuring Keri Hilson and D.O.E.

"Wait For You"- Elliott Yamin

"What I've Done"- Until June

Edit: I knew I forgot a song!
"Baby"- Angie Stone featuring Betty Wright

Trey's TV Review: Looking Back on '06-'07

2007-09-18T23:06:00.000-04:00

Summer's almost over, and school has started. The oppressive heat turns into nice warmth, and it signals that it's that time of year: the new TV season. Before the season premieres get into full swing, I thought it would be good to take a look back at last season and share my opinions.

Best New Show: "The Nine"
I'm really picky about new shows, and when I first saw it, I had my doubts. Then around episode 3, I realized that this show was freaking amazing. Of course, I was the only one who thought that, since I was the only one who watched it. The show about how 9 people--some hostages, some robbers--deal with the effects of being involved in a bank robbery went by pretty slowly, which turned people off, but I think that was part of the show's beauty. You noticed more how being held hostage for 52 hours affected them. I thought the show's premise seemed limited, but then I learned the robbery wasn't as simple as I thought. The security guard who was killed, and the bank manager, who was one of the hostages, were in on the robbery. With the show's intriguing plot and amazing acting, I knew it wasn't going to last long.

I'll Be Late For That: "Heroes"
When I first heard about "Heroes", I thought "It looks interesting, but I'm not sure it's my thing". As the season went on, the buzz around "Heroes" grew more than I thought it would. One day in late May, I was bored and decided to watch the first episode online. Three days later, I was caught up in time for the season finale. It took a while for me to finally find a new show that has a chance of having a 2nd season, and I'm glad it was this awesome show.

Most Improved Show: "Lost"
The first six episodes in the fall honestly weren't the best. Too much Jack-Kate-Sawyer love triangle, Nikki and Paolo were useless, and Eko died. After the show resumed in February, all the episodes (excluding the one where Bai Ling guest starred) were 50 different kinds of awesome. They answered so many questions, brought up new questions, and even made Nikki and Paolo's flashback interesting in time for their super freaky deaths.

Show That Got Worse: "Grey's Anatomy"
I heart Shonda Rhimes like ice cream and free cable. With that said, I still wonder how she went from a pretty good start to the 3rd season to the season finale, which I liked but was still not that entertained. In between gave viewers much to be angry at like Meredith brushing off her suicidal episode, Derek's assy treatment of Meredith due to his vying for Chief of Surgery, the character assassination of Addison, and the dreaded George and Izzie sex. It's sad that the most enjoyable part of the season was hearing Bailey sing "God Bless the Child" to her son over the phone.

Most Complicated Mythology: "The Black Donnellys"
Irish mob versus Italian mob versus 4 Irish brothers. Killings, corruption, embezzlement, fights, theft, gambling, drugs, throwing people out windows, and unrequited love. Add the possibility that none of this actually happened in the mix, and you too can go "Huh?".

Best Actor: David Tennant in "Human Nature"/"Family of Blood"-"Doctor Who"
He usually plays The Doctor with such exuberance, but in this two-parter, he gives a more subdued performance as a human.

Best Actress: Judy Reyes in "My Long Goodbye"-"Scrubs"
Carla's goodbye to Laverne broke my heart. She needs more recognition than an NAACP Image Award nomination

Best New (to me) Actor: Zachary Quinto in "The Hard Part"-"Heroes"
Sylar was just plain twisted, but in this episode, he shows a more vulnerable side. He makes you sympathize with him, even though he's still twisted.

Best New (to me) Actress: Freema Agyeman in "Human Nature"/"Family of Blood"-"Doctor Who"
Martha Jones has to hold it down for The Doctor while he's a human boys' boarding school teacher in 1913 England. With The Doctor falling in love with a nurse, racist treatment from school employees, and not to mention aliens and walking scarecrows hunting them down, she does the darn thing.

Best Season Finale: "Through the Looking Glass"-"Lost"
This episode rocked my world. We got a lot of answers, and new questions. We saw Charlie die. We saw Sayid snap a man's neck with his ankles. We saw flashbacks that were really flash-forwards. What more could you want? I do have to give an honorable mention to "Doctor Who"'s finale: "The Sound of Drums"/"The Last of the Time Lords".

Most Anticipated Second Season: "Heroes" and "Torchwood"
"Heroes" already has a large, diverse cast, which I love. Over the summer, they've added even more actors; some are cast members, others are recurring characters. I can't wait to see David Anders, Dana Davis, Jessica Collins, and Dania Ramirez. Plus, I enjoy how the show explores these characters and their powers in a way that shows how we, as humans, are capable of a lot of good and evil. Also, I love how the show isn't too US-centric and has stories taking place in Japan, and India. Word is this season will have stories set in Honduras, Ireland, Lithuania, and Canada.

"Torchwood" is the mature spin-off of family-friendly "Doctor Who". What made the show interesting was the show's exploration of what it means to be human: our emotions, our thoughts, our life, our death, and I guess our sexuality since everyone is varying degrees of bisexual. I can't wait to see how the show continues its dark, nihilistic themes compared. Okay, and I also want to see how Jack and Ianto's relationsihp evolves.

Alright, that was my review of last season. Most shows are premiering within the next few weeks (*sniff* last season of "Scrubs), but I'll have to wait til early next year for "Lost", "Doctor Who", and "Torchwood". This season, I'm trying out "Chuck" (love), "Reaper" (really like), and "Pushing Daisies" (not premiered, but looks really beautiful).

So what are you looking forward to this new TV season?

Let's Announce We're Withdrawing 30,000 Troops, Even Though We Were Gonna Do It Anyway

2007-09-17T00:19:00.000-04:00

I originally planned on writing this Thursday after Bush made his speech disguising the end of the troop surge as a withdrawal. I thought that I should let it marinate for a few days. It's been a few days, and these are my thoughts.

-I like how he said the sheiks in Anbar asked American troops for help in getting rid of Al-Qaeda's presence in the province. It makes it sound like when the US turned down the sheiks' offer of their services 4 years ago never happened.

-Apparently, Al-Qaeda is the main problem in Iraq. I thought it was the civil war going on. Oh, wait! They're not calling it a civil war; it's "sectarian violence".

-I bet you my cassette tape of "CrazySexyCool" that the White House wrote "General Petraeus's Report"

-It is neither Gen. Petraeus's nor Amb. Ryan Crocker's job to sell this war to Congress. The White House should not have put them in this position.

-I don't know if Bush and his ilk got the memo, but Iraq already is a safe haven for Al-Qaeda

-I bet you all the Vokal jeans I haven't gotten rid of that one of the 36 nations is Afrika Bambaataa and The Zulu Nation. Seriously, 36 nations? Can these people count?

Allow me to state the obvious: this war needs to end. The US government authorized an illlegal invasion of a sovereign country against the wishes of the international community. The minds behind the quick invasion failed to plan for what happens next. American troops are policing an all-out civil war, and they and many Iraqis are getting killed. What we need to do is leave. Withdraw our troops and let the Iraqi government know it's time to step their game up. The civil war will get much worse, but we can pray to God that other nations are willing to forgive and help us clean up the mess we made. This war has caused so much damage that won't be fixed for years, if that soon. 30,000 troops may go home, but the longer the other 100,000 or so are there, the more damage will be done.

Oh, I forgot; focus on Afghanistan and Pakistan: where the real "War On Terror" is.

What's The Best Way To Solve A National Crisis? Enforce Laws That Have Been Enforced For 20 Years

2007-06-25T22:54:00.000-04:00

Each morning at work, I check the various versions of Google News in English and French. It's a great way for me to stay abreast on things going on in the world that American media doesn't deem sexy enough to cover and keep up with my French. Google News Australia has been abuzz lately due to Prime Minister John Howard banning alcohol and pornography from Aboriginal reservations to curb pedophilia among Aborigines. He honestly believes that this will work, but he's got a lot of critics. Even if I didn't feel the prime minister is a racist butt-munch, I'd still side with the critics. Here's why.

It reeks of paternalism
This plan treats Indigenous Australians as if they can't handle the issues in their communities, and it's White Australia's duty to help them since they can't help themselves. Indigenous Australians have a lot of issues do deal with such as drug abuse, alcoholism, crime, etc. All these issues result from disenfranchisement and marginalization in mainstream (i.e., White) Australian society. The best way to address these issues is through inclusion to mainstream society and reconciliation for past events.

It's opportunistic
Prime Minister Howard is up for reelection this year, and due to his support of the Iraq war, and the Bush administration, among other things, he is behind in the polls to his main opponent Kevin Rudd. So, what's a quick way to drum up support? Show that you're "taking action" to support a group of citizens you didn't give a crap about for the 10 years you've been in office. You get extra brownie points if it's an issue that community leaders have been telling you about for the past 5 years.

It's already in place
For most Aboriginal reserves, the bans on alcohol and pornography have been in place for at least 20 years. They've curbed alcohol abuse, but not pedophilia. Aboriginal leaders have said that the government's ban will have an effect only if it's enforced in areas where Aborigines and Whites live together; otherwise, it's not gonna change what's been happening for the past 20 years.

You Know, Now Is A Good Time For A Post

2007-06-19T21:17:00.000-04:00

Since I've last posted, I got a job, lost it a week later, and got another one after about 3 weeks. During that time, aside from a day trip to Asheville and Chimney Rock, not much happened. I surfed the net, tried to read, watched an occasional Champions League game, got hooked on "Heroes" and had interviews for jobs I wouldn't get. Exciting, I know.

Okay, my job. I work for Talecris Biotherapeutics. You're thinking "What? Biotherapeutics? I thought you were still an ECE major?" now right? Talecris used to be a part of Bayer until about 2 years ago. They produce drugs that are created from plasma. Not that plasma, that plasma. No, I haven't swtiched to Biology; I'm in the Information Solutions department. I'm helping with a project on asset management, which is about licensing of applications used within the company. I haven't had much to do until recently since they didn't know I'd be starting until the day before my first day.

Did I mention that I work in Clayton? No? Well, I work in Clayton, which needless to say is nothing like RTP. I mean, there's a freaking field across the highway from the complex. I haven't gone out for lunch, since the most interesting restaurant I've come across is Mexican. Nothing against Mexican food, but it's tame compared to the Jamaican food I could get from Durham. Also, everyone out there is much friendlier than what I'm used to. It wasn't as bad as that time I went to Tarboro last year, but it still take some getting used to. It reminds me of State, in that most people you come across have Southern accents. So many people have asked me where I'm from and are surprised that I've spent my entire life in Raleigh, because I don't sound like it. I guess it's a good thing I'm working there since I can get a taste of 9to5 life outside of RTP. They don't seem as flexible with their schedule, and as casual, but they are friendlier and more personable.

I guess I could write my thoughts on the crisis in the Palestinian Territories. Maybe I can write about how I was late for "Heroes", or why no one told me Deborah Cox was releasing a Dinah Washington tribute album, or my fascination with Kaká. But it's getting late, so I'll do it another time. Until then, much love!

What Having A Gun Pointed At Me And Getting Shot At Has Taught Me: Confessions Of An Attempted Armed Robbery Victim Part 2

2007-04-30T01:03:00.000-04:00

Music to listen to while you read

"Lift"-Shannon Noll

I look fat on camera
Later that day, my mom told me that she saw me on the news. I was wondering how since there were no cameras around. I watched the 5:00 news to see if she was right, and I remembered that there was a camera out there that night. Sure enough, the report, and there I was. I thought to myself "Holy crap! That's me? I look so fat!" I know there's that saying that the camera adds 10 lbs, but it looked like there were 4 cameras on me. The last time I ran may have been a few weeks before that, but I thought my Victoria Beckham-esque diet during the day would make up for that. Once exams are over, I'm definitely hitting the gym. The next time I'm on camera, I'm going to look fit and in shape and not like a chocolate Jabba the Hut (I don't care if I misspelled it; the only sci-fi I do is "Doctor Who").

I felt bad, because I was being nice
Let me explain. Whenever I heard about someone's death on the news, I always said "Awww" under my breath. It was my way of showing that I feel bad and care when really didn't affect me that much. Two weeks ago, I sat in front of the TV watching the coverage of the shootings at Virginia Tech while reading articles online. I watched as the number of people dead jumped from 2 to 21 to 32, and all the while, I had this feeling. It was a mix of sadness and empathy. I was lucky enough not to have been killed; 32 people weren't. Networks interviewed those who survived. As I watched, I was glad that those survivors chose to do interviews so soon, because they felt okay enough to do them then. I knew if they waited, they would have been a mess after they finally grasp what happened. This whole thing was different, because I wasn't trying to be nice. I really did feel bad for them.

Some people just don't get it
I know not everyone has had a traumatic experience, but finding out people's expectations of how I should feel was odd. Some friends wondered why I was going to class so soon afterwards, expecting me to be in my room curled up in the fetal position rocking back and forth crying. Granted there were some moments where that didn't seem like a bad idea, but I needed to keep going. Some friends asked me if this experience would lead to my buying a gun. To quote Whitney Houston, the answer to that question is "Hell to the no!" I'm not a big gun fan, and I support stricter gun control, but that's beside the point. I ma not feel as safe as I used to, but I don't want this experience to drastically change how I go about my life. I understand they didn't mean to, but it really upset me when people said "At least you're alive". To me, that sentence just glossed over the intense emotions I was dealing with at the time. That I'm alive, and that's that. I understand these people were trying to help, but this is the truth.

Things aren't going to be the same again
Just before the wave of sadness came in, I wondered if things would ever go back to normal. Would I ever look toward that street corner again? Would I ever go to the library at night? Would I ever wait at that bus stop without having to fight back tears? The answers to those questions are "Yes", but new questions have come to mind. Will I not get mad paranoid when I walk outside at night? Will I think about everything that happened more once the semester is over? Will I ever be over it? I'm still not sure about the answers to these questions. I know that the normal that I've known for the past 20 years is gone forever, and I have to take time to adjust myself to this new normal. Honestly, it's not entirely bad; it's given me a change in perspective. I now understand just how precious life is, and how no one knows when one day, all of a sudden everything fades to black. The little things that used to get me down are just that: little. Conversely, the little things that cheered me up are so much more. They're what keeps me going during those times I feel maybe Dave Chappelle was one to something when he "went crazy" and left for South Africa (btw, RDU to Cape Town one way is about $2,100). All these emotions are strange, complex, and intense, but I need to keep going. When they decide to come in the form of a tsunami, I just have to ride it.

Confessions Of An Attempted Armed Robbery Victim

2007-04-12T00:36:00.000-04:00

At around 2:30 AM on March 22, 2007, it happened. I just wanted to leave the library and go to bed. I just wanted to go to sleep and finish a project that I knew wasn't going to work. I didn't want to have a gun pointed at me in an attempted armed robbery. I didn't want to run away in the direction the gun was pointing in. I didn't want to fear that I was going to get shot, or die. It's funny how we get what we don't want sometimes.

The next morning, I was still a bit shaken, but I felt better later that day. People kept asking me if I was alright, and I told them I was. Frankly, I got tired of being asked that question. However, I remembered this one episode of "Grey's Anatomy" where Cristina thought she was fine after having a miscarriage; she was a crying mess at the end. I felt like that all the baggage I wasn't feeling was gonna catch up with me, and about a week later, it did. I had flashbacks that popped up at random times, that some times provoke anxiety attacks. Everyone that asked if I was fine seemed to have moved on; ironically, that's when I needed them to ask me that. A huge wave of sadness came in that Tuesday, and didn't leave until that Friday.

So, how am I now? I'm fine. Okay, let me elaborate. I'm in the process of accepting what happened. I still think about that night and am amazed at how vivid the memories are. I've just started crossing the street at that intersection, and going to the library at night again. Honestly, I'm not sure how long it should take for me to move on, but it's okay. I'm taking as long as I need to.

Whoa! Where are the other posts?

2007-04-12T00:32:00.000-04:00

You have just witnessed The Great Blog Post Purge of April 2007. I felt it was time to start over. I won't make any promises that I'll update more often, because I'll probably not keep them.